Guest Post Series: Lost & Found by Tara Lutman Agacayak

The first time I heard the term "expat" I thought it meant ex-patriot as in, someone who was a former patriot. I could never figure out why someone would deliberately forsake their homeland.

Silly, naive me ... After living in Turkey for eight years, I understand from first hand experience what it means to be an expatriate.

If you had asked me before I met my Turkish husband, I would never have chosen this path; never have chosen to leave my sunny, liberal California upbringing to fly half-way around the world and settle in Turkey.

But how does that song go? You can't choose who you love, love chooses you.

The first several years of my life in Turkey were the most miserable I'd ever suffered. When I say miserable, I mean unbearable. Adjusting to marriage, learning a new language, developing new relationships in a very foreign culture, missing my family, leaving my career - in short, it was a complete identity crisis.

During such crises, you have two choices, to bury yourself in your misery or to dig yourself out. In a moment of clarity I decided I wanted to live a happy and fulfilling life, regardless of my location and that's when I started digging.

By digging I discovered what I'm really passionate about in life and who I am at my core irrespective of where I live or what my nationality happens to be. And I think this process of self-discovery forced on me by an expat-induced identity crisis has been the greatest gift of my expatriatism.

By nearly losing myself, I ended up finding who I am.

Tara Lutman Agacayak is a micro-business adviser who believes that people can change the world by doing what they love.

Photo by Nakşidil by Reyyan Somuncuoğlu

used with permission