Expat Forums: Think of Something New

Heard it all before?
Photo: Jean-Pierre Knapen

Have you ever read through an expat forum and thought,
    "I've read all this before! Stop whinging!"

You know the forums I mean: nothing but expats moaning about the locals, the culture, the difficulty in getting a pot of Marmite or their favourite pop drink. I have to admit that I gave up on general expat forums some years back when I realised how exasperating some expats can be - the ones using forums to let off steam rather than contribute helpfully to a discussion.

There are of course lots of forums and sites you can visit that are full of fabulous, helpful information where you can have a pleasant interchange with other people in the same boat.

Anyway, I read something on Twitter that perfectly summed up my feelings about some expat forums and I wanted to share it with you - it made me snigger!!

On the British Expats forum, an expat in New Zealand (going by the name of Dustybin) posted a discussion entitled "Think of Something New". It starts off like this:

"I've been on (on indeed not on) here for a couple of years now and as with all forums the same old things are brought up over and over again. (If you are ever bored find a vw van forum and start a thread about the nice bull bars on the front of your van and see what happens  )


A few examples that spring to mind on expats are:
1. NZ is pants
2. NZ is not pants


These first 2 are normally replied to with either:
1. You are a miserable sod therefore i shall point this glaringly obvious fact out to you.
2. You are far too happy and I am a miserable sod therefore I shall p*iss on your bonfire.


That covers the popular two.
The other themes that seem to circulate weekly are:


1.I have stuff already, will that stuff fit/work/explode in my face/make me the talk of the town and cause the local ladies to want to have my babies, when i get to NZ.
2. I dont have stuff, is there anything in NZ that might possibly be useful or will have to make my household appliances out of bits of twig, moss and spit.
3. I have heard that there are people who may be foreign living in NZ and i may have to interact with them. Is there a way I can avoid this, obviously i want to fit in, but only with people who are the same as me in every way. In fact can i be cloned to save me the trouble of starting conversations with smelly people."

Sounding familiar? Dusty Bin then challenges readers to try a different approach....... If you want to read more go to the British Expats forum page.