Holland has been taken over by Orange Fever.
It's infectious, and its symptoms are known to last at least a month. How will you know if it strikes you down?
- You'll be drawn to a television to watch eleven (strictly ten) men dressed in orange running around a field after a ball.
- You'll be attracted to crowds of people gathered together in front of big screens, dressed in orange, cheering and drinking beer.
- Every product you buy from your supermarket comes with an additional, free orange product ranging from T-shirts to Beesies.
- You'll adorn your home with orange flags, balloons, streamers and Dutch national flags.
- On those days you are inexplicably drawn to your television screen (see 1st symptom),you will also be inclined to wear orange clothes and paint your face orange with Dutch flags or with a lion's face.
- You will blow a vuvuzela at inappropriate moments or sound a tooter as if to warn that the end is nigh.
- After you have finished watching the orange men running around a field, you will find yourself driving around your neighbourhood beeping your car horn, oblivious to the fact that you are doing it in the wee hours.
Watch out, this fever is indiscriminate and doesn't just hit the natives or the royal family - it can strike expats in the Netherlands too and even those living outside of the Dutch borders. There are numerous cases already reported in Germany and France.
There are, as yet, no confirmed fatalities relating to Orange Fever and those in the know say we will see a peak this weekend, before Orange Fever leaves the country for another two years.
HUP HOLLAND HUP!!!