Expat Forums: Think of Something New

Heard it all before?
Photo: Jean-Pierre Knapen

Have you ever read through an expat forum and thought,
    "I've read all this before! Stop whinging!"

You know the forums I mean: nothing but expats moaning about the locals, the culture, the difficulty in getting a pot of Marmite or their favourite pop drink. I have to admit that I gave up on general expat forums some years back when I realised how exasperating some expats can be - the ones using forums to let off steam rather than contribute helpfully to a discussion.

There are of course lots of forums and sites you can visit that are full of fabulous, helpful information where you can have a pleasant interchange with other people in the same boat.

Anyway, I read something on Twitter that perfectly summed up my feelings about some expat forums and I wanted to share it with you - it made me snigger!!

On the British Expats forum, an expat in New Zealand (going by the name of Dustybin) posted a discussion entitled "Think of Something New". It starts off like this:

"I've been on (on indeed not on) here for a couple of years now and as with all forums the same old things are brought up over and over again. (If you are ever bored find a vw van forum and start a thread about the nice bull bars on the front of your van and see what happens  )


A few examples that spring to mind on expats are:
1. NZ is pants
2. NZ is not pants


These first 2 are normally replied to with either:
1. You are a miserable sod therefore i shall point this glaringly obvious fact out to you.
2. You are far too happy and I am a miserable sod therefore I shall p*iss on your bonfire.


That covers the popular two.
The other themes that seem to circulate weekly are:


1.I have stuff already, will that stuff fit/work/explode in my face/make me the talk of the town and cause the local ladies to want to have my babies, when i get to NZ.
2. I dont have stuff, is there anything in NZ that might possibly be useful or will have to make my household appliances out of bits of twig, moss and spit.
3. I have heard that there are people who may be foreign living in NZ and i may have to interact with them. Is there a way I can avoid this, obviously i want to fit in, but only with people who are the same as me in every way. In fact can i be cloned to save me the trouble of starting conversations with smelly people."

Sounding familiar? Dusty Bin then challenges readers to try a different approach....... If you want to read more go to the British Expats forum page.

Expat Friends - What Are they Worth?

Friends
Photo: Sanja Gjenero

When you are an expat your social circle is probably quite varied. How long you are living abroad, the circumstances that brought you to a new country and where you are living all contribute to the make-up of your friends abroad.

For my newsletter in June I wrote about the friends you make as an expat and how they compare to the friends you already have back 'home'. Here's an extract:

A recent expat survey conducted by the HSBC concluded that expat life in the Netherlands is not easy. The results claimed that it’s hard to learn the language, make friends and integrate into the local culture and community.


I ran a blog post on it back in May and the comments came pouring in from expats in the Netherlands, as well as Dutch readers.


It seems that many of the readers wholeheartedly agree with the survey conclusions. Making friends with the locals seems to be a real stumbling block and most people find themselves friends with expats, despite the effort they perceive they put in with the local people.


It’s an interesting topic – friendships when you’re an expat. Are they different to the friendships you form if you stay in your home country? Are the friends you make whilst you are abroad as close as the ones you have back “home”? Are they as long lasting? It got me thinking……

You can read the full post here and if you want future editions of the monthly newsletter Expats@Home delivered straight to your inbox you can sign up on the home page of www.thewritingwell.eu.

Local or Expat Friends?

Following on from a blog post I ran last week which generated numerous interesting comments, the latest A Letter from the Netherlands blog poll asks:

How much effort have you put in to making local (as opposed to expat) friends in your host country?

It was a topic that seemed to hit a nerve so it's one I intend to follow up on in future posts!

You can take part in the poll on the right hand side of the blog's home page.

Learning Dutch - a Tip or Two

Gerrie Soede of Poldertaal

For my last Expats@Home newsletter I interviewed Gerrie Soede, a Dutch language tutor in The Hague, to get her viewpoint on the best way to learn a foreign language and of course she gave me some tips for those learning Dutch in particular.

The good news is that, given the right circumstances (and a bit of talent), you could be fluent in Dutch in three years. The bad news is that for some people fluency is something that will never be achieved. However, don't let that be a deterrent if you don't have a natural flair for languages. Gerrie says,

"Don’t give up trying and remember that communication is always more important than perfection. Learning the local language is important to feel at home and expand opportunities."

I asked her what the most difficult thing about learning Dutch is. Here's her response,

"That depends on your level. At each higher level you’ll meet other difficult things. The articles and verbs at level A1; structure of the sentences at level A2 and B1, combination of words later on."

In terms of good resources to learn Dutch? Gerrie is clear that you each student should have an idea about their own learning preferences and what works for them. She explains,

"You need to choose resources that meet your learning style and your goals. And that’s different for any individual. However, I like Code and De Delftse Methode for the first levels of learning Dutch."

To round up, here are some tips from Gerrie to help those of us in a constant state of Dutch language learning:

• Invest not only in reading but pay attention to listening 
• Dare to make mistakes 
• Invest in learning words and do not think that grammar is the most important
• Stop the locals talking English to you by telling them you don’t speak English..... no, seriously -  explain you want to practice
• Stop translating as fast as possible
• Meet native speakers as soon as possible

Most of all, Gerrie explains that it is vital to consider the fact that you are communicating as more important that getting it right all the time. Accept that you’re probably not perfect and you'll feel much more relaxed about learning Dutch.

Helmet Therapy in the Netherlands

Helmet Therapy - a fairly common sight amongst babies
in the Netherlands
Photo: (C) The Writing Well

Expatica has published my latest article on a topic which will be unfamiliar to most  - but it is a process we stumbled upon last year when the Consultatiebureau referred us through to a physiotherapist because my baby had a strong positional preference.

I found it very hard to find much information on helmet therapy (or redressietherapie) in the Netherlands, particularly in English, so I decided to share our story for other expat parents out there.

It is also to enlighten others who wonder why - babies with specially designed helmets is a common sight on the streets of the Netherlands these days.

You can read the full article on http://www.expatica.com/nl/health_fitness/healthcare/Helmet-therapy-in-the-Netherlands_17323.html

A Busy Week for Brits and Dutch Alike

Wow - this week has it all going on: my son's first birthday on Thursday, THE royal wedding on Friday, Queen's Day on Saturday and a visit from my dad and step-mum to top it all off. It's all go!

Westminster Abbey in London
Photo: Thomas Stepanow

No Brit could possibly be oblivious to the wedding that will take place on Friday between the crown prince William and his fiancee Kate. You can buy street party packs online (in varying sizes depending on your street size), hats, flags (specifically called waving flags which are not to be mistaken for the non-waving flags), bunting, balloons, royal china, commemorative crystal, jewellery and even... I-Phone cases. All the things you never knew you needed to remember this royal wedding are on sale. But, a huge pro in my humble opinion, living abroad means us Brits miss all this - the shops here are obviously not full of royal wedding memorabilia...... I, like many, like a good wedding but I don't need earrings and a mug for the occasion.

And if you thought living in the Netherlands would mean escaping the wedding itself.. think again - the NOS will be broadcasting live from Westminster Abbey. Whilst it won't capture Dutch hearts like the Willem-Alexander and Maxima union, it's sure to bring in huge audiences. The bad news for Brits abroad is that they won't be enjoying the additional bank holiday that those back home get for the occasion......

And talking of Willem-Alexander and his wife... as I was... they will be in attendance at the big event before they fly back to take part in the celebrations in Thorn and Weert in Limburg for Queen's Day on Saturday. Of course, Queen's Day celebrations are going on across the country and The Hague and Amsterdam have large celebrations planned.

Beating Expat Career Barriers - Ten Top Tips

Photo: Laura Leavell 

To round the expat career series up I would first like to thank the participants who have shared their career stories over the past few weeks. I end the series with a summary of the top ten tips from their stories.

If you are moving or living abroad but want to ensure that your career remains intact in some form or another, here are ten pointers to consider:

1. Think creatively and outside the box. You may need to rethink your career path but with creative thinking you can end up going in a surprising and fun, albeit new, direction. 
2. Assess your current skill set and ask yourself how you can use those skills in your host country, or how you can adapt them to fill a local need. Jo Parfitt's "A Career in Your Suitcase" is a great resource to help with this exercise.
3. Sieze opportunities that come your way - listen to people around you and use your network to identify gaps. Sarah Johnson's career story is a great example of listening to people you meet in the most unlikely of situations.
4. Use the experience you gain as an expat as a basis for your overseas career. Both Nicola McCall and Louise Wiles demonstrate how you can make this happen.
5. Think about retraining or brushing up your skills. There are many long distance learning programs out there to help you.
6. Be realistic about your career options when you move overseas as the barriers can be numerous: recognition of pre-existing qualifications, local language, work permits, local culture, job market, legal requirements. Start your research before you leave home.
7. Make your career portable so that you can take it with you should you relocate.
8. Don't underestimate the support you will need to keep your career on track overseas - check with your partner's employer of they will support any retraining or if there are any local schemes to help you.
9. Build up a network that can point you in the right direction, brainstorm with you and offer you feedback and tips.
10. Stay positive!

The ins and Outs of Expat Careers: Nicola McCall and A Tale of Adaptation

Nicola McCall calls the Netherlands
home for now
Photo: A van Mulligen (c)

British born Nicola McCall currently calls the Netherlands her home. Nicola’s life as an expat has been the consequence of her partner’s career – his employer has relocated the McCall family a number of times over the years.

Like Louise Wiles featured two weeks ago, Nicola is an expat coach. Whilst living abroad, her career and the development of her own career has been inspired and created by her own personal, expat journey. It has been a story of adapting.

Before Nicola moved overseas for the first time she worked in an international retailer’s headquarters as a Senior Human Resources (HR) specialist. She was responsible for employee relations, internal communications and employee engagement. With her move abroad, she formed a plan for her future career and actively pursued it. She explains,

“I intended to return to HR on our repatriation to the UK (which was planned for Summer 2006) so I did a UK University Post Graduate Certificate in Personal and Business Coaching, as this was a skill set being sought by HR functions at that time.”

But as we know, things don’t always work out the way we plan. Nicola found herself having to adapt when the family ended up staying abroad. She says,

“During the training I saw the potential to work with expatriate spouses in similar circumstances to my own and inspired by Jo Parfitt’s Career in Your Suitcase website and books, I decided to start my own expatriate coaching business in March 2006.”

There was a serious financial cost attached to this career shift.

“Retraining and accommodation costs whilst studying were in the region of £4,000. I had some career support allowance from my partner’s employers but the majority of the finance for my career change was personal,” explains Nicola.

She also needed other types of support to effectuate her desired career change,

“I could not have done the training in the UK nor home study without my partner’s support to care for our son. I also had support from my course colleagues, expats for practice and a mentor coach to help me complete my studies.”

However, the fact that Nicola is still living overseas five years later with a successful career of her own is testament to the fact that the personal investment was a worthy one. Her hard work and determination have paid off in the long run.

To all potential expat coaches out there, Nicola has some sound advice,

“There are many coaches coaching internationally so make sure you undertake training that gives you a qualification and accreditation that is internationally recognised. Join a professional association to support your continuing professional development.  Look carefully at what your niche is and don’t be surprised that you may actually attract those outside your niche in the first year!”

She encourages anyone who has an idea for their own business to give it a go. Nicola says,

“If you think you can – you can!”

To make a success of your overseas career, Nicola pinpoints an essential trait to help you keep going in the face of adversity,

“You need persistence. It is common to ask “why am I bothering?” particularly when you are facing the uncertainty of a new location, you are juggling family commitments, learning a new language, studying – in short creating a new life in a new location! But persistence will keep you on track.”

She also stresses the importance of a sound network and contact with peers.

“Asking for help and reciprocating when you can is one of the easiest ways to connect with others in a similar field – I believe it is part and parcel of networking,” she tells.

And finally, in Nicola’s opinion, a successful overseas career needs a dash of something extra,

“You need a sense of humour – it’s essential anywhere, anytime!"

Nicola's Recommended Links
Inspiring Expat Women sites and books:
www.expatwomen.com - information site covering expat women’s lives abroad
www.expatexpert.com  Robin Pascoe (see also her books)
www.joparfitt.com & www.career-in-your-suitcase.com  Jo Parfitt's resources for expat careers

Expat Entrepreneur: How to create and maintain your own portable career anywhere in the world - by Jo Parfitt 

containing a useful chapter on careers as an expat woman

Becoming a Coach/ Expat Coaching

www.expatcoachassociation.com

www.coachfederation.org/research-education/icf-credentials

www.associationforcoaching.com/home/index.htm

Useful article from 2003 the Pathways and Pitfalls of Coaching - 

www.associationforcoaching.com/pub/Path0312.pdf

Career information

http://www.johnleescareers.com/   -  you can register on the home page for access to career tools 

Networking

www.twitter.com

Nicola McCall

Nicola McCall MCIPD is a UK University Post Graduate qualified Coach, specializing in coaching expatriates to find fulfillment during their work and life abroad.  Visit www.livelifenowcoaching.com for more information.

Expat Harem Guest Post - Rude Honesty: When Politeness is Cultural

Living in the Netherlands has forced me to be a little less sensitive about the things people say to me. This is because the Dutch tell it as it is and as a Brit that really is an alien concept. Us Brits like to bumble along putting things in a polite way so as not to hurt someone's feelings. It often means the real message is lost somewhere in the middle of the conversation. The Dutch see it differently - why waste time saying things in an indirect, insincere manner? When politeness is culturally ingrained it can certainly present a cultural conundrum for some expats......

I wrote a guest post for Expat Harem on this topic - what do you think? Polite lying or rude honesty?

The Ins and Outs of Expat Careers: Louise Wiles and Expat Coaching

Photo: Enrico Corno

Born in the UK, expat coach Louise Wiles now calls Portugal home but this is far from her first stop on the expat express train. She moved to Spain a decade ago and then to Portugal before she repatriated back to the UK for three years. She then lived on Madeira Island for five years before landing last year in her current destination of Lisbon.

All this moving around is a result of her husband's career. But what about her own career? How has she kept it going with all the moving around and what advice does she have for other accompanying partners? I spoke to her to find out and discovered the expat career path is not always a straight one - but planning the journey is essential.

I asked Louise about her career starting point and what effect a move overseas had on her career. Louise explains how she turned a move overseas into a career opportunity,

"My original profession was in sales and then training in Sales and Management. When I first moved to Spain I considered working for the same insurance group, AXA, in Madrid but decided I wanted to do something different. I trained as an English teacher (TEFL) and had my own business for a year. Then I decided it was my opportunity to do what I had always wished I had done and study Psychology." 

Louise saw a move overseas as the chance to retrain
through distance learning
Photo: Shho

Whilst living in Spain, Louise obtained a Psychology degree from the Open University in the UK and followed it with a Masters in Occupational Psychology from the UK based University of Leicester. Both of her degrees were obtained through distance learning.

However, having obtained the qualifications, expat life posed another challenge. Louise explains,

"A big issue was how to get the qualifications recognised here in Portugal. Because I was moving around I never completed my three years practice work in order to become a chartered occupational psychologist."

When Louise left the UK for the second time, she went armed with a plan,

"I chose to complete a certificate in coaching and to build a business from home – portable and related to my experience as an accompanying partner."

Her portable career solution not only works with her mobile lifestyle, but it also helps keep the balance in her home life. Louise says,

"Running my own business also means that I am able to fit it alongside my other commitments as a mother of two young kids with a husband who travels a lot – my business needs to be run from home and flexible enough to work around the demands of two young children (8 and 5)."

Many expats face a similar need to maintain flexible working arrangements - and Louise has created her own solution.

I asked Louise what kind of support she has had to build and maintain her own career abroad. The answer is disappointingly typical for many accompanying spouses. 

"None – from any outside party – just me and support financially from my husband (well our family income!!).  Actually I think I did get financing for a language course and my TEFL course in Madrid from my husband's company during our first relocation – but I've have had no support since," shares Louise.

This lack of support in her own situation is the reason why Louise is developing a programme for accompanying partners which aims to identify and develop a portable solution for their lives abroad.

Louise's number one tip for others who want to pursue their career abroad is simple,

"Do your research before you leave your home country. Make sure your expectations are realistic before you move abroad."

She goes on to say,
"Check whether your home country qualifications are recognised in your destination country and if they are not investigate what you will need to do to convert them – if this is possible. If not, consider how you could build your own business or freelance whilst abroad. Think about how you would set up a business and what the requirements for registering that business abroad would be – you may not even be able to do so in which case consider setting up your business in your home country before leaving. You could also consider working as an associate for someone else."

I asked this creative expat coach which three skills she thinks are essential for the success of an overseas career. She says without hesitation,

"Determination, creativity and passion."

Louise's Recommended Links

The Expat Coach Association

The International Coach Federation

Get Ahead by Going Abroad:
A Woman's Guide to Fast-Track Career Success
by C Perry Yeatman and S Nevadomski Berdan

Career in Your Suitcase by Jo Parfitt - a recommended read by Louise Wiles

Louise Wiles offers specific programmes for accompanying partners who want to create an individual portable approach to their career and lifestyle on relocating abroad.

To find out more about Louise and her services visit her website: http://www.SuccessAbroadCoaching.com or contact her by email

Louise@SuccessAbroadCoaching.com. You can also follow her on Twitter: LWexpatlife

Expats@Home - Monthly Inspiration from Expert Expats

For those of you who don't yet know about the Expats@Home newsletter I send out every month, this post is just for you.

Photo: Ilker, Turkey

I called The Writing Well newsletter "Expats@Home" because I felt that one of the main struggles of living overseas is feeling like home is always somewhere in the middle. By that I mean the longer you live away from your birth country, the less it feels like home every trip back you make. For most people a host country however, is also never 100% home because there is a different culture, language, climate or way of living, which never quite fits entirely. For me personally, whether I am in the Netherlands, which I do now consider my home, or whether I am back in England, there is always a little piece of the puzzle missing.

Delving into the local culture, language and society always helps you to feel a little more at home than staying on the outskirts. And that is what this newsletter is about; sharing the experiences of life as an expat, tips I have picked up from my journey as a foreigner in the Netherlands or learned from others - all so that others may feel a little more like an expat at home.


This year, I decided to team up with some expat experts to share top tips with you about getting the most out of expat life. Kate Berger shared her wisdom in February and Tara Agacayak shared inspirational words about creative careers this month. Next month, Gerrie Soede, a Dutch language teacher, shares top tips about learning a foreign language.

You can sign up for monthly inspiration at http://www.thewritingwell.eu/

The Ins and Outs of Expat Careers: From Human Resources to Writing

This is the first post in the series about expat careers. To kick off the series I thought I would share my expat career experience with you.......

I moved from the UK to the Netherlands in 2000 and at the time I was a Human Resources (HR) professional. I had studied for a Post Graduate Diploma in HR Management and intended to continue practicing HR when I moved abroad.

Within two months I had a new job with a large international company in a HR role. But to start earning again I’d made many compromises. The position was lower than my UK role was, the salary less. It was a temporary role and working through an employment agency.

Despite the number of international companies based in the Randstad in the Netherlands I found that the job market for my niche was relatively small because my Dutch was nowhere near good enough to work in a Dutch company – and that reduced my options considerably.

Feeling insignificant in a big
office block
Photo: Ryan Smart

After years of working on a specific contract in the same company, having been given a permanent, direct contract with the company the project came to an end and I was moved within the organisation to another team. It went downhill from there.  I felt like a number not a valued team member, a face in the crowd. I started reviewing my career options. I needed creativity in my daily work life. I wanted to write for a living but didn’t really see how.

I considered how I could combine HR and writing and then I discovered Jo Parfitt and attended one of her courses. It was the springboard that took my career on a new direction. During the course, Jo made a general statement to the group which stuck with me,

“You can make a career of writing and you can earn well with it. But you need to be passionate about what you are doing.”

I knew I wasn’t passionate about HR anymore. It hadn’t fulfilled any of the hopes I’d had, especially for much of my time in the Netherlands. But I was passionate about writing.

When I went on maternity leave it was the opportunity to take stock and make the change. I never went back to my HR role nor the international company. I set up The Writing Well instead.

The main barrier was financial but my departure from my former HR position left me financially secure for a number of months so I had a safety net – plus the income provided by my husband’s role gave us enough security to support the inevitable drought times.

Setting up a business in the Netherlands turned out to be straight forward, particularly given the nature of my company. I visited my local Kamer van Koophandel (Chamber of Commerce) to register The Writing Well and then registered the company with the Dutch tax office. That was the administration taken care of.

I undertook a web design course with NTI so I was able to design and build my own website for the launch of The Writing Well. And then I began networking and producing articles for various expat websites and publications – for free.


It built up my name and portfolio and then paid work started to steadily flow in.

A while after I started writing, I started a distance learning course at the London School of Journalism to boost my professional skills and keep my personal development going.

For expats wanting to make a move into the world of writing, my advice is this:  choose a niche, know your market and grow your networks.

Working virtually is vital if writing is your chosen
expat career.  Photo: Maripepa

Grow a platform for yourself (or as Anastasia Ashman and Tara Agacayak call it – a global niche). Writing is a great expat career because it is portable. Your clients can live across the other side of the world and it makes no difference so long as you can work virtually in an effective manner. I would also add that you should make the most of distance learning courses.

You do need the support of those around you. My husband enables me to take the time to disappear into my home office and work because he takes on the household and looking after the children. He has motivated and supported me from day one and even before – and takes an active role in decisions I make, and activities I undertake relating to my business. Jo Parfitt has also been a great support over the years – somebody who remembers her network at every possible chance and points clients in the right direction.

To succeed in a career overseas I think you need to be able to effectively network, both virtually and face to face. You need to be passionate about what you are doing and it certainly helps to be creative – to think outside the box. Finally - believe in yourself.

• Useful links for an overseas career in writing:

www.joparfitt.com
London School of Journalism

• Here are just some of the websites that welcome articles which enable you to build a portfolio - 

www.expatica.com

www.expatarrivals.com

www.iamexpat.com

www.expatwomen.com

www.expatexchange.com

And for inspiration to build a creative career doing what you love, no matter where you are visit Tara Agacayak's site - Turquoise Poppy.


Next week Louise Wiles shares her expat career story.

The Ins and Outs of Expat Careers

Photo: Vera Berard

Next Monday a new blog series begins on "A Letter from the Netherlands" about pursuing a career when you live abroad.

Particularly for accompanying partners, and those who move overseas to live with a local, this subject is a thorny one. For some, moving overseas is the perfect opportunity to make a career change and take a risk doing that one thing they always wanted to do. For some an expat life opens up doors. Others find doors slammed hard in their face.

The reasons for being unable to pursue your current career abroad are varied: lack of work permit; qualifications not being recognised; no jobs available in the local arena; cultural differences; legal restrictions; retraining needed; safety reasons; language barriers..... and so it goes on.

But it's certainly not all doom and gloom as our interviewees will reveal. A move overseas is a tremendous career opportunity for those who can think outside the box and put their creative being to work.

Over the coming weeks I will be speaking to a range of expats in different countries about their careers and how a move overseas effected their working lives. They'll share their experiences and give tips and advice and share links and resources that have helped them along their expat career journey.

If you have an expat career story you would like to share, please send a mail to "amanda at thewritingwell dot eu" and I'll let you know how.

On the subject of expat careers, the March edition of the Expats@Home newsletter goes out tomorrow with guest expert Tara Agacayak telling us about creative careers. You can found out more and sign up at http://www.thewritingwell.eu/Newsletter.html.

A Little Help in the Delivery Room for Expats: Doulas

Having a baby in a foreign country can be quite daunting and if your mum and your best friend live back in your country of origin then having your nearest and dearest around you at such an emotional time can be very hard to plan. However, hiring a doula can help - for many many reasons. A doula is someone who provides support (non-medical) during pregnancy, labour and the birth. For the birth of my second baby, I had a doula on hand and I would recommend it to anyone!!

If you want to know more, read an article I wrote for I Am Expat about my experience with a doula.

Expat Book Review: Postcards from Across the Pond by Michael Harling

Michael Harling is an American who accidentally ended up living in the UK. He met his future wife in Ireland and moved to Sussex to be exact. And having been raised in a rural area of corn fields and cow farms, a twenty minute drive from the nearest shop, Sussex must have seemed a little crowded to this new immigrant in town. In any case, the move from the US to the US certainly gave Harling enough fodder for an amusing book about life in Britain through the eyes of a foreigner.

This book is not only a funny read, but highlights something interesting: For an American, a move to the UK would seem an easy one to make - the language is (almost) the same, the culture is not worlds apart. However, Harling soon discovered that the differences lay in the small things in daily life. He found that everything "is just off-center enough to give you a sense of permanent imbalance." This struck a big, clanging chord with me.

I wrote an article for The Telegraph last year about the differences between life in the Netherlands and life in my native Britain. A reader commented that adjusting to life in in the Netherlands was in fact a piece of cake and the two countries really are very alike. But they are not - and I think Harling hits the nail on the head with his observations of life in Britain: When you move to a far off land you expect life to be very different, when you to a country nearby or one with much in common you don't expect your life to be rocked. But it is - just by leaving your home country.

The differences lie in the little things like posting a letter, getting a parcel delivered, getting a social security number, driving, shopping, sports, weather, TV, queuing, bureaucracy.... Need I go on? 

Luckily, this book is not a mammoth whinge about everything in the UK being inferior to its US cousin. Au contraire, Harling doesn't see all the adaptations he needs to make as a step in the wrong direction. In fact, he gives the impression that he actually quite likes a lot of the differences - once he got used to them.

In this book, which is actually a collection of blog postings he has made over the years, he shares his astonishment at the lack of St. Patrick's Day celebrations in England; his difficulty buying shoe laces; his confusion playing the game of rounders (which he likens to baseball until he sees the bat. "The bat resembles a giant rolling pin with only one handle," he explains); the haphazardness of the local bus schedules; and trying to recreate Thanksgiving away from the US ("Last Thursday was Thanksgiving, and 60 million people on this island didn't give a shit," he tells us).

This book is 172 pages to make you titter (a word us Brits can use without sniggering) and it's a great read for all expats everywhere, for Brits who can laugh at themselves, and Americans who want to know how different life is on the other side of the Atlantic.

His blog of the same title (where he describes himself as an "American author living in the south of England, sort of like Bill Bryson but without the best selling books and gobs of money") is http://postcardsfromacrossthepond.blogspot.com/ 

Keeping It Local to Rebuild Shattered Lives

As you may know by now, I love to shout about expats who are doing great things in their host country. If you have missed it, check out my latest article to be published. Ode has run it and the thing I love most about Ode is that they only share positive news. It's an article about British expat Figen Cakir who is using her art and design skills to do her bit to help her community in the Turkish city of Golcuk. Nice news to start 2011 off with.

Christmas Gift Ideas for Expats (2): Giftware with a Conscience

Christmas gifts with a conscience? Yes, if you support British expat Figen Cakir's project. Figen, who lives in Turkey, has set up a project aimed at developing local skills and ultimately selling items that have been made by local women, artisans and craftspeople. All so that they can support their families and rebuild their lives after a disastrous earthquake hit her community over a decade ago.

Figen at London crafts show showing
Turkish wares

Figen is a great example of an expat helping their local community - making their 'host' country their home and contributing to it in a big way. Figen personally helps local women with the development of their crafts and arts and ensures that the products are sourced from local or natural materials. She wants to expand the support through this 'Giftware with a Conscience' project which will help set up a small shop to develop skills and turn unique skills into unique arts and crafts. Figen explains that it is not about giving the local people charity,

"The aim is to give them a sense of enterprise."

A website offering international shipping will accompany the shop. All donators will be added to the mailing list and will receive shop discounts, updates, special offers and details of monthly or bi-monthly initiatives to help the local community - things like helping a family with clothing for their children, school books, baby items or things to help get them through the winter.

Turkish oya

VIP perks for funders include hand knitted Turkish slippers for toasty feet on cold winter days, decorative plates, hand painted gift tags, Turkish tile ware and pure Turkish cotton towels.

Cini Tilework

*CHRISTMAS TIP* - I would like to share a great idea with you that I got from Jo Parfitt. Jo sends a Christmas newsletter out instead of sending Christmas cards. The money she would have spent on cards and stamps she donates to charity. A great idea! If this appeals to you, and you like the idea of Figen's project consider donating the money you save on cards and postage to 'Giftware with a Conscience'. 

Alternatively, put this project on your own Christmas wish list so that your friends and family donate on your behalf. 

So many ways to give gifts this year with a conscience.

I will leave the last word to Figen, who sums up what this means to her, and to her community.

"I would like to express my desire to see this project come to life in the new year and finally create a 'home' for the work of artisans and craftspeople. That would be my Christmas wish, I guess." 

Expat Christmas Gift Ideas

With Sinterklaas and Christmas fast approaching I thought a few posts were in order about finding the perfect Christmas present for expats to send back home for friends and family, as well as gift ideas for the expats in your lives. Or maybe even gifts that let your local friends taste a little of your life back home.

When you live abroad, it is not always easy to find the right gift for family and friends - and then of course you need to ship it or carry it when you travel back. Often you end up spending more on postage and packing than the cost of the gift itself.

Shopping online can therefore be a great solution for Christmas shopping for expats - especially if you can get it delivered directly to your friends or family from within the same country. Over the next few days I will share some great, unique gift ideas I have found over the last few years.

For the expat in your life there are also ideas to help bring a little piece of home to their host country... and if you are an expat yourself you could use the festive period to introduce your local in-laws or friends to a little of your life back home.

Tomorrow kicks off with Name Art - gift ideas for friends and family back home, particularly those in the UK. During the week there is also a very special offer for readers of A Letter from the Netherlands!!

Duality - Life as an Expat

"I am two different people for two different audiences," commented one reader of my recent guest post "How Do You Say.... Me?" on Expat Harem.

My post addressed the issue of being able to let the real you shine through when you are interacting with people in a second language. It is a difficulty that many expats face, and the comments from readers were overwhelming. So many of us endure the same struggles of showing our real personality when the words to express ourselves escape us.

"I can't express the totality of me in English," summed up another reader. 

Expat Sarah Turnbull, in her book Almost French, states after a dinner party,

"I’d said very little all night. When I did speak, it was to issue childlike statements or ask simple questions which made me cringe at my own dumbness.”

This rang a bell with one reader of the blog post,

"I had to laugh at the "cringe at my own dumbness" quote because I find myself constantly doing that here in Italy."

Whilst many of us know the problems associated with learning a new language, this blog post made me realise that there is an undercurrent of issues too when you need to operate in a new language. It is not just grammar, getting by in daily life and understanding the society you live in - it is also about being able to feel like you represent yourself accurately and that you can be true to yourself and your persona in another language.

So how else can you get your message across when you can't find the words?

"Because the Turks are so expressive with their body language I think that really helps me to be more demonstrative if the word escapes me," explains one expat in Turkey.

Another expat says,

"I'm a smiler so I do that a lot! And I try to speak with my hands.... and my hubby can translate but its not the same."

You can of course refuse to budge and speak only in your native language but remember that whilst you are doing that, you are addressing an audience in a language not their own. So do they really get what you are about when you speak in your mother tongue?

There is no easy answer but as Anastasia Ashman puts it,

"Passion is something that will push us to the next stage in trying to communicate." And if there is something that most of us expats have - it's passion!!


*This was first published in February 2010 in an Expats@Home newsletter. If you want to receive future editions of my newsletter you can sign up on this blog (see right column) or http://www.thewritingwell.eu/Newsletter.html.*

Expat Tastes

I was recently having a bit of a twitter with a Dutch expat in England and she was telling me that every time someone comes to visit, or she comes back to the Netherlands, she raids Albert Heijn for essential supplies to take back.

"I'm curious," I tweeted. "What type of things do you get?" She replied,

"Well half the Albert Heijn! Cheese, ontbijtkoek, hagelslag, crisps (hamkaas, bugels) and I miss all vleeswaren - osseworst etc." "Oh, and magazines," she added.

I tweeted back,

"That's hilarious!! I bring back English cheese and 'proper' flavour crisps... and magazines & books. Funny what you get used to!!"

So we agreed she would send a lorry of English supplies over, and I would send it back full of Dutch goodies.A kind of Tesco - Albert Heijn shopping exchange scheme......

The idea of a Dutch expat lugging Dutch cheese over to England at the same time I was hauling a good piece of English cheddar back to the Netherlands made me smile and as her Albert Heijn trolley is filling with hamkaas and bugles, mine is filling with prawn cocktail and worcester sauce flavour crisps.

I do bring a lot less variety of things back with me each trip than I used to but there are still staples that the local Dutch supermarket just doesn't stock, so they go on list when we pop back or someone comes over:

• jelly cubes
• Branston pickle
• Ambrosia rice pudding
• custard
• bite-size shredded wheat
• crumpets
• Bisto gravy granules

To sum it up she wrote,

"You can take the Dutch out of Holland but you can't take Holland out of the Dutch!"

Indeed, and you can certainly say the same about the English. Though it did make me wonder what foods I would miss from the Netherlands if I left..........