Oven Gloves - One Hand or Two?

Photo: Michal Zacharzewski

It strikes me as odd that British shops offer a selection of oven gloves that comprise of two square gloves joined together, whereas Dutch shops only offer one glove. I've wondered why for many years but to this day I have no definitive explanation so I'm throwing it open in the hope that someone can enlighten me.

Is it because Dutch ovens are in general so small one hand is sufficient to hold the small tray that actually fits? Many Dutch kitchens only have a small dual function oven and microwave so huge roasting dishes are nowhere to be seen which causes Americans problems at Thanksgiving and Brits untold stress at Christmas when turkeys need to be cooked......

Are Dutch people born with one hand made of asbestos and therefore an inbuilt heat resistance that us Brits just don't have?

Is it a cost saving thing? One glove cheaper than two?

I have an extra wide oven in my kitchen which was already fitted (by a Dutch family I hasten to add) when we moved in and my roasting trays are heavy - using only one hand to remove hot trays or dishes from the oven is asking for a hospital visit. That's why I import my oven gloves from England.......

Am I alone? Do one handed oven gloves work for everyone else? Answers on a postcard......

Michelin Stars in the Netherlands

Photo: Noel Abejo

Forget bitterballen and kipcorns.... there is much more to eating out in the Netherlands. Inspired by my recent post about Top Chef I delved in to the topic of Michelin star restuarants in the Netherlands and was surprised by the sheer number scattered across this small country.

There are two restaurants in the Netherlands who have the prestige award of three Michelin stars" Oud Sluis in Sluis, Zeeland (also voted best restaurant in the Netherlands) and De Librije in Zwolle (which was featured on BBC's Masterchef last year). Both restaurants and menus look good, though your wallet does need to be quite full.......

There are 13 two star restaurants spread across the country and 83 three star establishments - you can find a complete list on dinnersite.nl.

In 2009, I wrote about a restaurant in Limburg which actually gave back its Michelin star as it was keeping customers away. Now known as Eten bij Michel, the restaurant underwent a redesign and provides affordable good food in a relaxing atmosphere, if the reviews are anything to go by.

Where ever you live in the Netherlands, there is sure to be a Michelin star restaurant near you... as long as they don't keep giving them back of course!

Ten Things You Don't Know about The Netherlands and the Dutch Until You Move Here (Part 3)

The typical Dutch stereotype consists of cheese eating, clog wearing tall people talking a dialect of German with a backdrop of windmills sailing round on the flatlands. However, there is much more to this small country and the people who live in it than the rest of the world thinks. Here's the third part of a series on things you don't necessarily know about the Dutch and their country until you move here.

5. There's More to the Netherlands than Amsterdam
Sure, the capital city is quaint, interesting, unusual and a honey pot for tourists, but there are so many more places to visit when you hop over to the Netherlands. In fact, there's so much more I'm not even going to try to do a round up here. Suffice to say if you want to see the real Netherlands, venture further afield than Amsterdam. Visit www.holland.com for lots more information and ideas.

6. UFOs are Everywhere
That's 'unidentified fried objects' if you're wondering. To be honest, before I moved here I couldn't have offered any suggestions at all about what Dutch people eat (apart from cheese). Now I live here, it's an easy question to answer - anything weirdly shaped and fried! In Holland, most of these UFOs are known as snacks:

Kipcorn (chicken like sausage covered in breadcrumbs and fried)
Frikandel (indescribable contents shaped like a long sausage and fried)
Bitterballen (often seen on the menu in bars - small balls of fried things)
Picanto (thick sausage snack which is... you guessed it.. fried)
Patat (otherwise known as fries or chips and in any case certainly fried)

Traditional food at New Year, oliebollen which are in essence dough balls, are also fried.

In short, they've all seen the inside of a deep fat fryer. When you're in the Netherlands, go native and give snacks a try. Just don't ask too much about what is in them.

Ten Things You Don't Know about The Netherlands and the Dutch Until You Move Here (Part 1)

Photo: Suresh

The typical Dutch stereotype consists of cheese eating, clog wearing tall people talking a dialect of German with a backdrop of windmills sailing round on the flatlands. However, there is much more to this small country and the people who live in it than the rest of the world thinks. Here's the first part of a series on things you don't necessarily know about the Dutch and their country until you move here.


1. Coffee is an Obsession
There is a fair bit of cheese here and the Dutch do miss their Edam and Gouda cheese when they leave the shores of the Netherlands but what comes as more of a surprise when you come to live here is the national obsession with coffee. The Dutch drink a lot of coffee. I mean an awful lot of coffee. How's this for coffee drinking? After the Scandinavian countries, the Dutch are the world's biggest consumers of coffee. The average consumption is about 150 litres of the stuff per year - three cups a day.

Photo: John Nyberg

It's drunk for every occasion and is usually accompanied by a sweet treat if you are visiting.

2. Part-Timers Rule
Despite the government trying every way they can think off (aside from compulsory work laws) to incentivise women to work full-time, it has failed miserably. The Dutch have the most part-time workers in the whole of the EU. To quote the European Commissions statistics group (Eurostat),

"All regions in the Netherlands record a remarkably low average (ed: of working hours) compared with other regions. The highest value in the Netherlands was found in Flevoland with an average of 31.6 hours per week, which is still 2.4 hours less than in Martinique (France), the region with the lowest value of all regions in the EU, not counting the Netherlands. This supports the conclusion that the Netherlands is a special case regarding the average time spent at work."

And the best thing is that Dutch women are extremely happy with their working lives and the home-work balance. They simply have better things to do. Read the article on Slate for more explanation.

What no Dutch or British Heritage?

Flamenco Dresses by Simon Gurney

What do throat singing, French food, carpet weaving, flamenco, hopping through the streets and oil wrestling have in common? They are all new additions to UNESCO's Lists of Intangible Cultural Heritage. UNESCO's world heritage sites I knew about - this list is a whole new ball game.

These lists have been compiled for the fifth time and incorporate threatened traditions and cultural activities across the world. Sixteen such traditions have been placed on the 'List of Intangible Cultural Heritage in Need of Urgent Safeguarding' (I seriously couldn't make this stuff up).

I am happy however to report that our neighbours, Belgium, has had three cultural events added to the list: Houtem Jaarmarkt (the annual winter fair and livestock market at Sint-Lievens-Houtem), Krakelingen and Tonnekensbrand, (an end-of-winter bread and fire feast at Geraardsbergen) and the Aalst carnival. The gastronomic meal of the French has taken pride of place on the list and has attracted a lot of comment form the world's media. Iran and Spain have also been significant contributors.

Here's the explanation from the press release from UNESCO about the French dinner:
"France - The gastronomic meal of the French - The gastronomic meal of the French is a customary social practice for celebrating important moments in the lives of individuals and groups, such as births, weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, achievements and reunions. It is a festive meal bringing people together for an occasion to enjoy the art of good eating and drinking. The gastronomic meal emphasizes togetherness, the pleasure of taste, and the balance between human beings and the products of nature."

Like what fonduing is to the Dutch then? Hmmm.....

However, on the list of additions for 2010, there is nothing for the Netherlands and the United Kingdom has also contributed zilch to the list. In fact, I can't find any submissions in the last three years (and can't find any list before that) by either my host or home country. Are the Dutch and British without cultural heritage worthy of the list? What about clog dancing, windmill building, morris dancing and beer making? The British pub lunch? Dutch snacks - the renowned bitterballen? I could go on....... amusing myself... but instead I'll ask you...

What Dutch or British cultural heritage do you think should be on these lists? 

Expat Christmas Gift Ideas (3): Expat Shops

Continuing the series about tips for Christmas gifts for expats...... Expat shops are a great port of call for present shopping for your expat and local friends and family alike.

How about making up a basket of British products for your in-laws? Or putting together a hamper of flavours from the US for your American expat friend? Christmas can be a great opportunity to introduce your local friends to the tastes of your home country - like a beer selection from home or a pudding for the Christmas meal or something special for breakfast on Boxing Day. Or just to make sure they experience the delights of crumpets at least once in their life.

Lots of expats have food parcels sent to them all year long so making up an extra special package at Christmas time will certainly go down well and your local expat shop will be able to help you.

If you are British, and want to introduce your local family and friends to something new.... try mince pies. Not only do they get to experience a new taste - but you get to have a whole conversation about minced beef as a dessert...... which of course is not what mince pies are (although to be fair in some countries ask for a mince pie and you will get a ground beef pie). The British traditionally eat mince pies in the festive period around Christmas and the New Year - and in the lead up to Christmas the shops are full of them. British expat shops are no exception.

Mince pies are sweet pastries full of mincemeat. Nothing related to a cow but instead dried fruits such as raisins and sultanas and apples with spices. They are delicious. Particularly with brandy butter or single cream. And more importantly, they are a favourite of Father Christmas, who appreciates children leaving him a mince pie along with a glass of sherry on Christmas eve.

If you have never had a mince pie, like the idea of sharing a British tradition with your friends and family here in the Netherlands, or just want to stock up on your usual treat at Christmas, then hold on to your hats....... For those of you living within a commute of The Hague there is a very special offer for readers of this blog at Kelly's Expat Shop.... A FREE BOX OF KIPLING MINCE PIES when you spend 15 euro on shopping at Kelly's. Just quote A Letter from the Netherlands blog at the till. That simple!

Kelly is actually Dutch (read a previous article of mine if you want more on the interesting tale about a Dutchie running an expat shop) but provides the expat community of The Hague and surrounding areas with goodies from Britain, America, South Africa, Australia and more. Open seven days a week, Kelly's is located at Piet Heinstraat 105 but also offers online shopping for delivery in the surrounding area. Incidentally you can also get your Christmas turkey from Kelly's. What are you waiting for?

Bonfire Night - Thwarting An Early Terrorist Threat

Wrapped up in woollen scarves, hats and gloves we would stand excitedly in the dark waiting for the lighting of the bonfire; for the moment when the flames would spring in to life and the wood would start to crackle, for the moment that we could feel the heat on our cold, red cheeks. The guy perched at the top of the fire would eventually fall and burn, the effort of making the figure disappearing literally in a puff of smoke.

Once the bonfire was in full flame, we would turn our excitement to the fireworks which would be next to start. In the meantime we warmed ourselves and filled our tummies with soup, a jacket potato or a hot dog or hamburger.

Then the firework display would start and the crowd would "ooh" and "aahhhh" in unison as Catherine Wheels spun, spider fireworks trailed their orange legs across the dark, starry sky and Roman Candles sent shooting stars heaven bound. We would wave our sparklers around, writing our names in light. The bangs, whistles, screeches and crackles echoed across each other as the firework show came to its finale.

Bonfire night every 5th November sticks with me, the date holding a feast of childhood memories like a t box of treasures I can open every year on this day. Of course, since I moved to the Netherlands participating in Bonfire night has become harder and I have only been in the UK to celebrate 5th November twice since 2000. As my children grow up this is a track record I aim to change so that they can learn and take part in a little piece of British history and culture. For Bonfire night is a British thing - yes, I have had lots of people back home saying to me over the years "Don't they celebrate bonfire night in Holland then?" No they don't. Of course they don't - Guy Fawkes made no attempt to blow up the Dutch parliament did he?

But he did have a cunning plan to get rid of the protestant monarch of the time by blowing up Parliament and King James I with it in 1605. The aim was to replace the head of state with a catholic one. Luckily for King James I the gunpowder plot was discovered (the anti-terrorist unit being on full alert back then too by all accounts) and the plotters were arrested and swiftly executed. End of Guy Fawkes and his friends.

On 5th November, 1605 the first 'thanksgiving' was celebrated and marked with the ringing of church bells and the lighting of bonfires. Hence, why the British, over 400 years later, still light bonfires on 5th November and put an effigy (the guy, named after Guy Fawkes) on top of the fire. The fireworks represent the foiled gunpowder plot - that and it's pretty.......

If you live in the Netherlands and want to experience Bonfire Night get yourself over to Watersportcentrum, Sloterplas,Christoffel Plantijngracht 4, 1065 DA Amsterdam at 16.00 on Sunday 7th November, where the British Society is once more organising its Guy Fawkes Bonfire event.

Expat Tastes

I was recently having a bit of a twitter with a Dutch expat in England and she was telling me that every time someone comes to visit, or she comes back to the Netherlands, she raids Albert Heijn for essential supplies to take back.

"I'm curious," I tweeted. "What type of things do you get?" She replied,

"Well half the Albert Heijn! Cheese, ontbijtkoek, hagelslag, crisps (hamkaas, bugels) and I miss all vleeswaren - osseworst etc." "Oh, and magazines," she added.

I tweeted back,

"That's hilarious!! I bring back English cheese and 'proper' flavour crisps... and magazines & books. Funny what you get used to!!"

So we agreed she would send a lorry of English supplies over, and I would send it back full of Dutch goodies.A kind of Tesco - Albert Heijn shopping exchange scheme......

The idea of a Dutch expat lugging Dutch cheese over to England at the same time I was hauling a good piece of English cheddar back to the Netherlands made me smile and as her Albert Heijn trolley is filling with hamkaas and bugles, mine is filling with prawn cocktail and worcester sauce flavour crisps.

I do bring a lot less variety of things back with me each trip than I used to but there are still staples that the local Dutch supermarket just doesn't stock, so they go on list when we pop back or someone comes over:

• jelly cubes
• Branston pickle
• Ambrosia rice pudding
• custard
• bite-size shredded wheat
• crumpets
• Bisto gravy granules

To sum it up she wrote,

"You can take the Dutch out of Holland but you can't take Holland out of the Dutch!"

Indeed, and you can certainly say the same about the English. Though it did make me wonder what foods I would miss from the Netherlands if I left..........

Eight Tips Series: Kitting Your Home Out with Dutch Essentials

In order to get along in Dutch society there are a number of essentials you need in your home. Without them you cannot integrate fully and may even fail the inburgeringscursus. You can read about these essential tools (and others) in more depth in an article I wrote for Expatica.

1. Potato Masher
Without this vital piece of kitchen equipment you can never hope to master Dutch cuisine. It is hard work to use it effectively but practice makes perfect. You need to keep mashing until the object in question looks squashed and dead.

Although it is a potato masher (at least where I come from it is) the name is deceiving. In the Netherlands, it has various uses on top of smashing the life out of a potato: mashing cabbage, mushing carrot, pulverising spinach, squashing onion, squishing endives...... you get the picture.

This kitchen tool allows you to make a perfect stamppot or hutspot - perfect for warming the tummy in winter. Also very handy after dentistry work and a broken jaw.

2. Birthday Calendar
This is an essential for the smallest room in the house, namely the downstairs loo. If you don't have a downstairs loo, then choose the next smallest room. Make sure you include the birthday of anyone likely to visit your house - everyone checks for their name whilst they are making use of your facilities. They really do. If they come out of your downstairs loo looking mad, it's because you forgot to put their birthday in your calendar.

3. Bicycle
It almost goes without saying, but without a bike in the Netherlands you are no one. You simply must have a bike - it really doesn't matter how much you use it but you should have one. Where it is stored differs from household to household. The shed is a popular place. Public hallways in shared accommodations are also popular, preferably so you block safe exit and entrance. Creating an obstacle course for fellow residents is seen as good sport here. You can also leave your bike(s) chained to a lamppost outside your house - it externalises the obstacle course and gives dogs new and varied targets to pee on.

4. Window Foil
Many Dutch homes do not have curtains. They may have blinds or no window fittings at all. This is traditionally so you can see in to the showcase living room. However, over the years many Dutch homeowners have become torn between tradition and dignity. Do they really want you seeing them in their dressing gowns with bed hair every morning? The solution is window foil. Placed strategically over the windows you can't see out so obviously nobody can see in (except very small and very tall people).

5. Sauces
Your fridge door must be full of different sauces to be served with every meal. Every meal, regardless of what it is. Of course, the food you serve will determine exactly which of the sauces you are to serve but there are some staples: knoflooksaus (garlic flavoured sauce), currysaus (spicy ketchup in essence) and chillisaus (chilli sauce). There are other sauces which are variable and optional but for kids you must always serve appelmoes (apple sauce). It is to do with the lack of flavour in Dutch cuisine....... see tip 1.

6. Vases
Flowers are everywhere in the Netherlands. They are also commonly brought by visitors. So if you are a bit of a socialite, then you will need a lot of vases and many free surfaces to put your flowers in and on.

7. Cheese Slicer

I had never owned a cheese slicer (kaasschaaf) in my pre-Netherlands life. Cheese in the UK is soft and comes in square chunks so can easily be cut with a knife or crumbled or grated for sandwiches. I now own two cheese slicers. (I actually had three but whilst some might find that luxurious, I found it to be a little excessive and as it came free with some cheese I chucked it). Anyways.... Dutch cheese is hard and triangular shaped. Trying to cut it with a knife is just asking to lose at least one finger dangerous so cheese slicers are essential.

8. Chairs
Foreigners in the Netherlands all have to step into the circle of death at some point. If you have a Dutchie in your house, you will even have to create that birthday circle for yourself. For this you need as many chairs as you can muster from friends, family and neighbours. But you must also have a good supply in house. The good news is (so I am told) that the birthday circle is dying out and a thing for the older generations.

What's your experience? Do you still end up in birthday circles? Do you host birthday circles?

Guest Post: Boat Trip by Anneke Kamerling

This is the second in a guest blog series written by Anneke Kamerling about her expat life in Greece. If you want to find out more about Anneke and her collection of anecdotes, take a look at Typical Greek.

Photo: Alex Ling

"Do you know that McDonalds has opened a restaurant in Athens?" my Greek colleague Irini asks me one hot August day in 1992. "Well", I say, "we should celebrate!"

No sooner said than done. The next weekend we leave on Friday with the boat 'Sappho' towards Athens. It is a whole night sailing and the next morning we drive off the ferry in Piraeus, in my from the Netherlands brought car. Irini and I drive straight to the centre of Athens. I feel right back home. Athens is my city. Here I have spent several winters, like many islanders do and by now I know the city by heart.

I park the car at Orestis' place, a friend of mine, who has a shop in Monastiraki and together with him we enjoy breakfast on a terrace in the neighbourhood. We explore the Plakka on foot and of course, we also pay a visit to the Acropolis. In the evening we join the queue, which reaches beyond the doorstep, for a Big Mac at Syntagma Square. How is it possible? I hear you thinking. And that with all that delicious Greek food everywhere? Well, that answer I won't share, but the fact is that it tastes just fine to us.

The boycott which is currently being held on all Dutch products leaves a bitter taste though. This relates to the issue of Macedonia. The Greeks don't recognize the newly proclaimed Republic of Macedonia. Everywhere there are posters with: 'Macedonia is Greek, always was and always will be!' The Greeks fear that the former Yugoslavian Republic of Macedonia will claim the Greek Macedonia area (and all of Greece) and they want Macedonia to change its name, constitution and flag in order to prove the contrary. The Greeks also proclaim a trade embargo against the former Yugoslavian Republic of Macedonia and boycott products from several other European countries, including the Netherlands.

How deep this resentment goes, I notice when I arrive at my car on Sunday morning and see how it is scratched with the text: 'Macedonia is Greek!' Two tires have been punctured as well. We are faced with a problem. I only have one spare tire. Fortunately, Orestis has a solution. We call a garage nearby. It's good with connections! This is how things work around here. The car is towed away and although it is a Sunday, two new tires are rapidly put on, so that we can drive again. We're going to visit some friends of Irini in Peristeri and have lunch with them before we are to board in Piraeus again.

We have all the time in the world, but nevertheless we call at the office of the ferry company in the port area already at 19.00. We get a surprise! Tonight there's no boat. "But we have the tickets", I say. The boat has been cancelled due to technical problems. Now what? We call the friends of Irini and they have a solution. We take a taxi to the airport and they agree to put my car the next night on the boat. The key is under the mat, the ticket in the glove box. This very evening we fly back to Chios. The car will come later.

Much later, I learn. When I enter the port of Chios on a borrowed scooter at 05.00 hours on Tuesday, I just see the 'Sappho' leaving the port rather than arriving, my car still on board. Other people arrive with stuffed bags in their hands, shouting and screaming that the boat has left too early. A few tourists look around, confused. The representative of the ferry company takes in the chaos and raises his arms again and again in a typical Greek gesture that says "so it is, no different, I also cannot help it". And so my car is on an unplanned boat trip to Kavala.

On Thursday we are reunited. I sneak myself onboard the ferry, grasp the key from under the mat and drive off quickly. In my own car with new tires and political slogan across the whole side.

Guest Post: Psonia by Anneke Kamerling

This is the second in a guest blog series written by Anneke Kamerling about her expat life in Greece. If you want to find out more about Anneke and her anecdotes, take a look at Typical Greek.


Shopping in Greece is an adventure in itself.

I like to stroll about the market, where tomatoes are uglier but sweeter than at the supermarket, the fish is fresh and free-range chickens have really been free. Hungry for chicken? Then you have to kill, pluck and slaughter it yourself. For other meat there is a separate department. Here, cows and sheep hang like brothers (or should I write sisters?) together in the open air, where flies and wasps have free play. How do I get some minced meat and where is that steak, exactly? In my poor Greek, I ask for fine (ground) meat. "All meat is fine", answers the seller proudly. "Yeah but I mean ..." I try to explain with hand gestures. "For the keftedes (meatballs)," I finally get out. Ah, now he seems to understand me. He cuts off a piece of the cow. Lets it fall into a waste well, picks it back up, wipes it off on his bloody apron and puts it in a big meat grinder, which I didn't see earlier. Otherwise I would have pointed straight at it, of course. That will have to be well-done, I think, as I stare at the waste pit. The butcher captures the mince on a piece of paper, grabs it and sets the price. Should I bargain or not? I ask if he wants to repeat. "Slowly, please." It sounds different than before. Has it got cheaper or more expensive or did I really not understand just now? I pay. "Kali órexi (enjoy your meal)," he beams at me in a friendly farewell.

Photo: Pal Csonka

In the village five kilometres below the village where I live is a mini market. Here, you can get anything! Along the walls are shelves with crates full of vegetables and fruit, cans of tomatoes, and bags of chickpeas and lentils, baby milk, toilet paper, books, and soft drinks, and on the ground here and there boxes with washing powder, detergent, diapers, oil barrels, beer crates, spirit bottles and homemade wine. The outfit also serves as a cafe. A meeting place for the men of the village who sit together all day in front of the only TV for miles, watching, no matter what is broadcasted. They sip their Greek coffee or ouzo together with a glass of water, which invariably remains untouched. But why this shop is very important to me is the fact that here not only the only TV, but also the only phone for miles around is to be found. I regularly stop here on the way home, in order to do some shopping or to call my parents. Calling is expensive and so I ask my parents to call me every Tuesday at 21.00, Greek time. I make sure I'm on time. I order a beer or a soda and join the men watching some Greek soap, until promptly at 21:00 the phone rings. The owner picks up the horn and passes it on to me. After a few weeks she doesn't pick up the phone anymore, but gives me permission to do so with a friendly nod. This way I keep my parents informed about my adventures on Corfu.

Photo: Constantin Jurcut

In Corfu town, I often use the indispensable periptero (kiosk). Anyone who has been in Greece knows exactly what I mean. In every town, village or hamlet is at least one periptero. This is a sort of Makro in mini size. Within about two square meters you can find almost everything you could get at a supermarket - from chilled beer and soft drinks, snacks, tobacco, ice, books, magazines, toys and bus tickets to drugstore products, including an extensive range of condoms and aspirins. Usually you will find a public telephone as well. Amongst all this it's never easy to locate the salesperson. Wedged in the box with everything within arm's reach he or she serves customers, day and night, through a small hatch. Whenever I walk down the street, the periptero is always open. Even during siesta time. Might the clerk literally have gotten stuck in there?

As friendly as people in the market and the shops are, so stiff are the officers and bank employees. Once a Greek takes place behind a desk, he undergoes an unprecedented transformation. Women often also seem to like to use glasses on their noses, making them look even stricter. Suddenly they no longer smile, and the jovial 'no problem' is not used anymore. "Nai?" sounds a gruff voice from behind the desk, usually protected by a glass shield, and you as a customer can start a monologue, which the clerk in question is listening to with a stoic face. No response. They would excel at poker, these officials! Sometimes they go in an agonizingly slow pace into action and you get what you came for. Often they abruptly leave you, without explanation, to discuss your private matter loudly with colleagues. Privacy is out of the question. Also because all other Greeks do not wait their turn politely lined up, but prefer to eavesdrop nearby so they won't miss any of your business. Very possibly, the clerk will nod you on to the next counter, where the entire situation can start from scratch...

Eight Tips Series: Getting to Grips with Dutch Food

Dutch food is not like anything you have eaten before. Of that I am sure. Here's the low down of some typical Dutch food and how to survive it.

1. Lower Expectations

If you don't expect much, you won't be disappointed. Typical Dutch food is not haute cuisine. It is not fine dining. In fact, some might say it's hardly dining at all.

2. The Straw Rule

Most Dutch food can be eaten through a straw; pea soup (or snert as it is also known) is the ultimate example, though I do grant you that sucking up the lumps of sausage will need some gusto, and could be a choking hazard. The other great example is stamppot, which is basically mashed up potato with a vegetable of your choice (so long as the vegetable has had the life mashed out of it too). The fact that you could eat it through a straw does not mean that you should (unless you are convalescing in hospital).

Friet or patat: chips are a winner in the Netherlands

3. Get Frying

A lot of frying is done in the Netherlands. A lot. 'Snacks' are a unique type of fast food found floating in fryers across the country, usually served with the infamous friet or patat (that's fries or chips to you and me). Snacks include things like kipcorn, frikandel, bitterbal, bami and kroket. 

It is actually best not to ask what is in your snack - you don't want to know. It's the reason why snacks are served with more sauce than you know what to do with.

The traditional food at New Year is also a deep fried delicacy - oliebollen - just as its name suggests (oil balls).

Traditional Dutch cakes eaten at New Year
Photo: Baris Wanschers

4. Ditch the Cutlery

The Dutch eat quite a bit with their hands. For example, no knives and forks are needed for traditional 'snacks' or frietjes, despite the lashings of sauce (see Tip 5). Abandon the metal tools and get stuck in.

5. Get Saucy

The Dutch are masters of sauces. Not the 'Gordon Ramsay homemade quality' variety, but the 'out of a plastic bottle' variety. We are talking about frietssaus (especially to put on your chips), currysaus (not the same curry sauce you get in British fish and chip shops), satesaus, chillisaus, knoflooksaus (garlic sauce),  shoarmasaus (hot garlic sauce to go with shoarma) and mayonaise. 

6. Learn to Love it Hot and Strong

Drinking coffee is a Dutch pastime and for those who like their coffee bordering on coloured water, you are in for a shock. The Dutch tend to like their coffee strong. In addition, when the Dutch have white coffee they tend to use koffiemelk (evaporated milk) or koffiecreamer and not the regular stuff from a cow like many Brits. 

Drinking tea in the Netherlands is also an experience for Brits who put milk in their tea (yes, I know!). The Dutch look blankly at you if you ask for milk for in your tea (rightly so, in my humble opinion but my English visitors do put milk in their tea and it has led to some interesting discussions out and about). You may end up using creamer or koffiemelk. Either way, it doesn't make for a 'nice cup 'o tea" as the folk starring in English soaps would say.

Dinner or Dessert?

7. The Dutch Like it Flat

Like the country they live in, some favourite Dutch food is flat. Pancake houses are everywhere and are wildly popular. Pancakes come in all sorts of varieties - sweet, savoury and everything in between. They even come in different sizes - poffertjes are mini pancakes and you can buy poffertje pans if you want to make your own. 

The thing is that dinner in a pancake restaurant quite often results in a meal of pancake covered in sugar and syrup. Not a vegetable in sight. This is what I actually call pudding or dessert........ and I am told I am wrong - it is simply a dinner that is a treat. My tip is to eat dinner before you head out and grab pudding in the pannenkoekenhuis unless you plan to take a savoury pancake, which by the way really are very good.

8. Take up Jogging

Aside from all the deep fried food and the pancakes I have mentioned, there is also a lot of sweet food on the Dutch menu, especially when it comes to celebrating. For birthdays there is the usual birthday cake (if you are lucky), for a birth there is beschuit met muisjes (meaning literally biscuits with little mice; in reality a round, dry, crunchy cracker with blue or pink sugar coated anise seeds), for new year oliebollen and appelflappen are all the rage and a simple coffee with the neighbour is usually accompanied by some kind of sweet treat. It all starts to take its toll on the hips. And thighs. And rear end. So taking up jogging, aerobics or zumba is a good idea. The alternative is to hide away in your house and quit socialising.

Eight Tips Series: Dining Out

Photo:Lewis Johnston

Here are eight tips to get the most out of your dining out experience in the Netherlands.

1. Don't Ask to Sit in a Quiet Part of the Restaurant

This is a selfish request so please don't make it. It requires the waiting staff to walk further than strictly necessary to serve you. Sit with the crowd and enjoy your meal. In fact, most of the Dutch clientele think it is gezellig to seat themselves at the table positioned 10 centimetres from yours, despite you being the only customers in the restaurant. Squeezing past each other's chairs to visit the toilets is a kind of national pastime.

2. Expect to Take Your Time

Don't expect to grab a quick meal and head off somewhere else. If you want quick, try Mcdonalds or Burger King (and even then you might be pushing your luck). The ordering process, as well as the delivery times of your meal to your table is at best 'relaxed' in many Dutch eating establishments.

3. Get Your Drinks Order in Whilst you Can

You just never know when you will be able to attract your server's attention again to get a second drink. People have died of thirst trying.

4. Enjoy the Overview

Don't have high expectations that glasses and bottles will be cleared away as you empty them. That is needless extra work for the serving staff. Relish the challenge of creatively rearranging your table at every course to ensure you can fit your food on the table. Think about stacking high, as well as across the table, and don't be afraid to extend to the Dutch group's table next to you - they wanted your company after all. Look on the bright side - you can easily keep track of your alcohol consumption this way.

Photo: Stefan Gustafsson 

5. The Two Finger Rule

When you order a beer from the tap, your glass will comprise 2/3 foam and 1/3 beer. It should of course be the other way round with only two finger's worth of foam at the top of your glass. However, this is more fiction than fact. Live with it and order three beers at once.

6. Let Staff Know if Your Meal is Cold or Undercooked

If you are not happy with the temperature of your meal, or the degree to which it is cooked, start trying to attract your waiter to let them know. They will gladly (read: with rolling eyes) take your plate back to the kitchen to deal with the offending item by blasting it in the microwave and then returning it to you on the same plate that was taken away from you 15 minutes previously. Yes, your salad will also have been nuked.

7. Use Your Feet to Get the Bill

You may notice that most Dutch customers get up from their tables and make their way to the till at the end of the meal; this is because they know. They know there is no point sitting and waiting and trying to get a waiter's attention to get the bill. And in any case, if you are lucky enough to attract enough attention to ask for the bill, this is just step one of three. Getting the bill to your table is trickier than asking for it, and getting your money or card processed is even harder. You could be there hours, by which time it is time for your next meal.

8. Tip

Yes, the service may have been slow, your table a mess throughout the entire meal and you used your feet to get the bill paid but you are still expected to leave a tip for your waiter or waitress. They were in the restaurant whilst you ate weren't they?

Of course, there are actually great places to eat in the Netherlands, where service excels and the food is scrumptious - check out the list on the Smaak Politie site for good, clean places. Top notch Michelin star restaurants are also available such as De Librije which was featured on the last series of Master Chef shown on the BBC - if anyone has actually been there let us know how it was!

Eight Tips Series: Shopping in the Netherlands

If you want to come home from a shopping expedition in the Netherlands with your sanity in tact, retaining any semblance of a good mood, there are a few guidelines to follow. Whether it is a trip to the local supermarket, or some retail therapy in your local high street or shopping centre, you need to be prepared.

1. Avoid shopping on Saturdays

Regular high street shops are open from 9.00 to 5.30 (6pm if you are lucky) from Monday to Saturday. On a Monday, many shops won't open until lunchtime. In addition to this, there will be a koopavond in your town - usually a Thursday or Friday, when the shops are open until somewhere in the region of 9pm.

Sunday opening is scattered, controversial and not worth relying on. Hence, the stampede on Saturdays as the entire Dutch population descends on the local high streets; little wonder as most people are working when the shops are open the rest of the time. If you like elbow shoving, queuing and moaning, then save your shopping for a Saturday afternoon.

2. Big Supermarket Shops are for Saturdays Only

Don't think you can walk into any supermarket at anytime and load your shopping trolley up to the brim. If you do this in the evening, around the time people come out of work, you can expect sighing, tutting and catty comments about how your type should be banned from supermarkets. Evenings are for those people who do their shopping daily - those grabbing vegetables, milk and bread - and not for you to do your weekly shop.

Before you ask, no it is not the supermarket's fault that only two of the eight tills are open during the busiest period of the shopping day so queues form: it is YOUR fault because you do your weekly shop outside the legally designated times.

3. Take Carrier Bags Out with You

If you go shopping empty handed, you must either juggle your purchases under your armpits, have big pockets, or pay for bags. Some shops will give you free bags, but you take the risk of needing hospital treatment for cuts inflicted by the inappropriate handles attached to the dangerously thin bags.

4. Shop Online Around the Holidays

Shops in December are no-go. Everyone is frantically buying Sinterklaas gifts, promptly followed by Christmas presents. However, the snag is that Dutch shops offer to wrap your gifts for free..... Yes, for free... and this means the Dutch are queued out of the shop doors in their droves for their free wrapping. Unless you are partial to Bart Smit or V & D wrapping paper, do yourself a favour, shop online and wrap your own presents.

5. Smiles are not Included in the Price of your Shopping

Dutch customer service comes as a surprise to foreigners. In fact, you can spend your first few months in the Netherlands trying to find customer service. There is a rule to obey in shops - failure to comply is at your own peril.

"Thou shalt not interrupt employees whilst they are talking to each other about their weekends or homework and don't talk to employees whilst they are on a private telephone call." Accept that they clearly have better things to do than what they are actually paid to do. If you can ring up your own purchases, then all the better.

Returning your trolley is an art form in the
Netherlands

6. Strategically Return your Shopping Trolley

Always put your shopping trolley back at the end of the longest row of trolleys, even if this means returning it to a row which trails over the main road, blocks the entrance to a lift or path or crosses a motorway. Your aim is to hinder other shoppers and block the passage of cars. You need your 50 cents back right? And your legs have given up the will to live after your tiring shopping excursion? You can't possibly walk the extra few metres to the short row of trolleys.

7. Combine Supermarket Shopping with a Workout

Try to see hopping over empty boxes, careering around stock carts, and pegging it back to the shop entrance for that one elusive product they keep moving around, as exercise. Don't complain about products stacked high and out of reach - see it as a chance for a good stretch (or alternatively a way of getting into conversation with a tall Dutch person).

8. Plan the Emptying of your Shopping Trolley

Conveyor belts in the Netherlands are mini versions of those in other countries. Hence, if you place your bread anywhere but the end of the belt, you have approximately 2.3 seconds to run past the cashier to the end of the belt to save your bread before it turns prematurely into breadcrumbs. If you are planning to make breadcrumbs with your loaf, then this will save you effort and time later. However, if you want to make sandwiches with it, place it at the end of the belt when you empty your shopping, or practice your sprinting, because the employee behind the till will not rescue it for you. See tip 5.

On a similar note, do not open bottles of fizzy drinks, beer or wine directly on your return home. They will need to settle after their hazardous journey along the, albeit short, conveyor belt.

And on this subject.. don't pack your shopping into bags or crates at the end of the conveyor belt. Throw it all back in your trolley and pack it into bags whilst you hover at your car boot in the car park. It's much more efficient and you can't get your car out yet anyway because of the line of shopping trolleys across the car park......

Good luck!

Guest Post Series: Where do I Belong? by Tiffany Jansen

Personally, I love living in the Netherlands. I love the area in which I live. I love learning the language. I love meeting people from different backgrounds and cultures. I love the rich history and the old buildings. I love the cycling culture, the personal freedom, the royal family. Though I could certainly do with less rain and longer days in the winter, there is very little that I

disapprove of or feel uncomfortable with in my new country. If anything, my Dutch husband has more of a desire to head back State-side than I do.

Now, it’s not that I don’t love my home country. I’m very proud of our new president and I am proud of the fact that we went from a fledgling nation to the most powerful country in the world. And I certainly miss family and friends and hobbies and pastimes that I left behind.

The other and probably more pressing reason is that I’m not sure I belong there anymore. I notice it more and more with each time I return for a visit or when family and friends come to see us in the Netherlands.

Sometimes it’s the big things. I don’t understand why only the wealthy are entitled to healthcare. It still boggles my mind that only a handful of States have legalized gay marriage. I disagree with the drinking age being so high and the driving age being so low. The fast-pace, no-rest, workaholic lifestyle makes me wonder why life expectancy in the US isn’t lower – all this pressure American society puts on its people can’t be healthy.

It’s also in the little things. The knife, for instance. I’m convinced that this utensil is headed for extinction in the United States. When we eat with my family or friends, their knives remain completely unsoiled. They never even pick them up. My husband and I ate at a restaurant in North Carolina over Christmas that had no knives whatsoever.

To make a long story short, the longer I stay here, the less I belong there. I’m changing and seeing things differently and having all these new experiences that can only be had by living in another country. Seeing friends and family so seldom means that we move on without each other and in different directions. We can never be as close as we used to be. How can we? Skype, Facebook, blogs, telephone and email can help tremendously, but they just can’t replace a one-on-one, in person relationship.

And as much as I’m adapting here and as much I really love life in the Netherlands, this will never really be my home. Not truly. Not completely. For starters, I’m not Dutch. When my Dutch friends sing tunes from Kinderen voor Kinderen, that’s something I can’t participate in. I just didn’t grow up with this show. If I retaliate by crooning songs from Kids Incorporated, I find myself doing it alone. Certain jokes I will never really understand. No matter how fluent in the language I become, it will still be more taxing than speaking English. Let’s face it: I’m not Dutch. Nor will I ever be.

I think the worst part of being an expat is that you get torn between two countries. Two lives, really. And certainly two homes. We humans hunger for a sense of belonging. But where exactly do I belong now?

Thanks to Tiffany Jansen for this contribution. You can read more about Tiffany on her blog sites:

http://clogsandtulips.blogspot.com

americancloggie@aol.com

Dining Dutch Dogs

We recently went to a pancake house in Katwijk, only to leave with more than we came in with; namely a coat full of dog hair. My husband had placed his coat on the bench next to us, not knowing that some previous diner had obviously thought it appropriate to seat their dog at the table with them.

Many a time I have been in a restaurant here and have sat eating my meal with the rear end of a dog staring at me from under the next table, and even after nearly ten years in the Netherlands this never fails to amaze and irritate me.

In England, in general, the only dogs allowed into eating places, and shops for that matter, are guide dogs, despite the fact that there is officially no law banning dogs from being in restaurants. In many US states, dogs are also not allowed in restaurants but recent new legislation allows them to sit quietly with their owners on outside terraces. It is a very different attitude to mainland Europe.

Here in the Netherlands there are no rules (either real or customary) on where you can take your dog in terms of dining out and people make the most of that. In some cases, it really would not surprise me if the owner settled their dog on a chair, tied a napkin round its neck and ordered from the menu for it - that is how far some dogs seem to be part of the family here......

What do you think about dogs sitting in restaurants? Is it different here to your experiences back home?

The Dutch Taste Police

We went to a local Greek restaurant (Delphi) last weekend and I noticed a Smaakpolitie sticker on the door. It is the only restaurant in Zoetermeer to have been awarded this sign of a good, clean kitchen. In fact, to be fair there are not too many restaurants that have been awarded this keurmerk in Zuid-Holland at all.

The Smaakpolitie is a Dutch television programme hosted by Rotterdammer Rob Geus, which inspects restaurant, cafe and snack bar kitchens (and student houses for entertainment value) around the country. Rob (always clad in his trusty white jacket) checks the hygiene and cleanliness of each kitchen he visits - giving it a very thorough going over. Some of what he finds is shocking, and if you saw the state of some of the fat in some snack bar deep fat fryers, you would never eat a kipcorn again....... Of course, some kitchens sparkle and shine, and the kitchen staff do no wrong... and of course these are the places you need to find to dine out in!

Here is a sample of Rob in action: Horror in Wageningen

To see which restaurants in your area have Rob Geus' approval see the total list on SBS6's website (clickable regions on the left).

Chester's Kitchen - A Taste of Real British Food

A few weeks ago I visited Chester's Kitchen after I read about the tempting offerings of "A taste of real British fare" located in The Hague. Situated at Prins Hendrikstraat 54, it offers a range of real British food in the day and best of all, in the early evening on a Friday and Saturday, the place magically turns into a fish and chip shop.

Whilst the shop itself looked a little sparse (I gather they are building up), it offers lots of goodies just like you would find in your local chippy back in England: cod, haddock and barramundi (all battered in a light beer batter), proper sized chips, battered sausages, pies and pasties and all the traditional accompaniments such as mushy peas and curry sauce. Everything is fried in beef dripping (traditionally used in British fish and chip shops but as it is makes food unsuitable for vegetarians many shops back home switched to vegetable fat - however, the taste is different). Anyway, the bottom line is that it tastes good at Chester's Kitchen! Really good!

The origins of fish and chip shops in Britain stems back to either 1860 or 1863 when the first shop opened in London, or the North of England (both locations claiming to be the first chippy in England).

It proved to be cheap fare for the working population of the country, was particularly popular during the First World War, and one of the few foods not rationed during the Second World War.

Fish and chips is traditionally eaten on Fridays because of the Roman Catholic abstinence from meat on Fridays - hence Friday became known as fish day. I can remember that whenever I stayed with my grandparents as a child we always ate fish and chips on a friday - invariably from the local chippy. In fact, going even further back, my granddad even owned a fish and chip shop!

In years gone by, fish and chips were always wrapped in newspaper, invoking fond childhood memories of strolling along Blackpool promenade with fish and chips in hand, battling the elements whilst "oohing and ahhing" at the Christmas lights. These days newspaper is no longer allowed (rumours of ink poisoning being what they are) and your feast from the chippy is wrapped in plain white paper.

Contrary to what you may think, there is less fat in a British fish and chip meal than in other popular take away meals. This is due to the meaty size of the chips, which means they retain less fat - proper British chips dwarf an anorexic looking french fry and tastes so much better.

Add your traditional splash (or bottle as some like it) of malt vinegar and a generous salt portion and you have British food at its best. If you have never had the pleasure - treat yourself at Chester's Kitchen or a fish and chip shop near you. Eet smakelijk!!!

Visit http://www.chesterskitchen.nl for more info on opening times and menu.

Photo (c) Carl Ratcliffe